2 weeks?!

Last week was a toughy for me, but I'm feeling ready to take Monday (public school holiday!) to prepare and get myself focused again. This teaching biz is just difficult at times, and there isn't always an easy explanation. Susanne talks about the seasons changing, due to the time of day, the students present, her mood, the lesson, the weekend coming up... all factors, and all important. Anyway, I'm glad to be done with last week, and I'm looking forward to a fresh start on Tuesday.

We spent a few days preparing to read To Kill a Mockingbird, which included a little survey and discussion about the "n" word. It sent my mind and heart to many places, and I got a timely invitation to read/write something at a Black Student Union event on Thursday. So, I wrote a piece of reflection titled "When is it okay?"

Good morning, students.
Sharp, bright, well-intentioned, malleable-minded youth.
Stake-holders in the future of this
globalized,
technologized,
sexualized,
hyper-masculinized,
fantasized,
hyperbolized,
racialized 21st century.

Today we’re gonna talk about you, and me, and us, and we
are gonna talk about our language, our words, our verbiage.
We’re gonna talk about the meaning we make with our mouths and our minds.


Here are your instructions:

Think about the “n” word. I’m not talkin about no, or nice, or never, or nothing.
I’m talking about the word that rhymes with bigger. The word that makes my toes curl, skin crawl, ears bleed, that word.

Tell me when you think it’s okay to say that word.

…when I’m with my friends.

… when there aren’t any Black people around.
“Why do they have to be so sensitive?
I mean, when people call me ‘Barbie’ or ‘White Girl,’ I’m just like,
‘What’s up?’”

… when the word ends in “a” instead of “er.”
“I don’t think that matters, really. Like, it’s the same thing.”

… whenever I feel like it.
“I don’t care. I left four blank. I’m a racist. Go ahead and call me it.”
“I don’t think it’s offensive.”

… when I’m reading it in a book, when I’m singing along with a song, or when I’m repeating what someone else said.

… if I’m Black or African American.
“What pisses me off is when there are like, two Black people calling each other that word, and then someone else comes up and is like ‘what’s up my ___,’ and they get all mad. That’s what pisses me off.”

… if I’m not saying it to someone who is Black or African American.

… if it’s only a joke.
“There’s also a limit. Sometimes people are trying to be funny, but they overdo it. You gotta know when to say it, and who to say it to.”

… when I’m not trying to be racist.
“Yeah, I’m a white girl. If there were more Black people then we’d be discriminated against.”

“The only one that makes sense for when I would do it is if somebody tells me they’re not offended by it.”

… if it’s part of a comedy sketch.
“If Chris Rock says it, it’s okay for everybody.”

“Yeah, but look at Kramer.”

… if I’m being ironic, and I don’t really mean it.

… if I say other racial slurs, too.


Do you want to know what I think?

I think that word has a longer history than Kramer
comes from more than just satire
finds a target, an impact, a place to land
leaves scars, burns images, conjures up our past, present, and future damage.

I think that word is worth discussing because it opens
Wounds that need healing,
Stories that need telling,
Like reparation and reclamation.

Now, I never said it, but how many times did you hear it?