Chapter 3 Interview

I interviewed a woman who has taught high school and now teaches at the university level. She and her partner have a 9 year-old in public school that deals with autistic tendencies and was adopted. She had all kinds of valuable perspective and insight as to ways that our educational system is geared toward a certain kind of family, a certain kind of learner, and with a specific purpose. Outside of that purpose, she shared that it can be difficult to navigate the system and it takes a lot of privilege and access to resources. So, that said, here are some nuggets:

In terms of she and her partner's experience as a lesbian couple with a child in public school, she said they made a conscious decision to live in Portland because of the increasing resources, acceptance, and support available to them. For example, there's a support group for lesbian mothers with autistic children... couldn't get much better than that! She did say that it has helped to be in a school with an openly gay principle and other openly gay staff members, and that her family has generally been "counted" as real and legitimate. She also said that the traditional nuclear family is become rarer and rarer, and many students have one parent or multiple households.

She feels thankful that her son seems to understand himself as normal, sometimes asking questions about where another kid's other mom is, or why so-and-so doesn't even have a mom? At the dinner table, the family will often have a conversation card prompting some discussion about the day and what he's learning. One example was to talk about what makes his family different from other families. His answer was that his moms didn't let him play video games! Nothing about a two-mother family.

The biggest conflicts and barriers shared during the interview had to do with the process of evaluating their son and developing an Individual Education Plan (IEP). They hired a consultant to understand Special Ed law and help wade through the process of evaluation. They went through hiring a learning assistant for $20 an hour, reorganizing their work schedules so that one parent could be with the son at all times in school... a very time and resource-consuming process! They felt very ostracized by teachers and administrators in the schools, as well as other parents in the school. Once their son was "labeled" as having autistic tendencies, new resources became available, the school helped set up an IEP, there were outside counseling and therapy sessions provided, etc.

Looking to the future, this woman wonders what it will be like for her son to experience homophobia though she supposes he will identify as heterosexual. I told her I'd come back in 10 years...