Task: Jot down brief descriptions of the kinds of kids who provoke the following feelings in you...
Kids I find it easy to like: Most kids, honestly, if I get to know them a little bit. Kids that open up to me and share something personal, allowing me to see that they have thoughts and feelings and interests.
Kids I find it hard to like: I struggle with kids that are rude and approach life with a sense of entitlement. I want to shift the blame to someone/something else in their lives, but I still have a hard time not taking that out on the kid.
Kids I am sorry for: Kids who are being allowed to live in a false reality (what I perceive to be false, anyway), to the point that they struggle to navigate social worlds. I try not to think about feeling sorry for anybody, in general. There are certain circumstances and experiences I would never wish on a kid.
Kids I feel threatened by: The same kids I was threatened by in high school... the manipulative, passive, build-a-cohort-of-followers-that-hate-you kind of kids.
Kids I identify with: Kids who love to learn, want to be challenged, want to have fun, want to be more than a student... kids who have fears and anxieties about doing the right thing and performing at a high level...
Kids I gravitate toward: the fun-loving, carefree student who likes to joke and have a good time. The kid who break dances on the tennis court while I'm explaining an activity. :) Also, the kid who is so quiet and perhaps so shy that it's painful to participate. I love, love, love taking baby steps to get to know those students better and find ways to relate in.
Kids I feel inadequate around: Kids who are dealing with issues I've never faced in my personal life and might not feel like school is a priority in the moment. I feel unprepared and inadequate as a mentor/teacher/adult in their lives.
Kids I probably don't even notice: The student in the middle, coasting along without making too much or too little noise. The student who appears fine, but never invites me into his/her world.
This assignment makes me feel gross... not because I don't really have these thoughts and feelings, but because I try to think beyond the idea of "those kids." I'm definitely not there, yet, and will have to work on this forever. Good to be aware of some of my tendencies and areas to work on.
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3 comments:
I agree that this assignment is very judgemental. We may initially have negative feelings about a kid but we must be willing to overcome them and try to make every kid someone we like.
Yeah, the grouping thing bothered me, too. I have some very good friends that I initially stayed away from for various reasons I don't remember now. Anyway...
It's always good to be aware of our tendencies and possible prejudices. I think I just want to become really good at building trust with kids so I can see beyond the facades and help them learn.
It might be nice to find the magic antidote to dogs who wake up in the wee hours, too...
I understand that this reflection can be disturbing on a few different levels. We want to think of ourselves as not having biases or tendencies, but of course we do. Articulating those tendencies is not a pleasant thing to do. Labeling students into a box is also a tendency of ours as humans, and we have many boxes that students fit into. How constrained those boxes are, I think, is the problem, not necessarily the box/label itself. Can students change their labels/your perceptions of them? What role do you have in creating that perception, seeing that way, and what role do students have in "causing" that perception?
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